Self Esteem
Chris Cowen – qualified and experienced Counsellor and Life Coach in Exeter
We are born with a positive sense of ‘self’ and low self-esteem is something we acquire along the way. Both Counselling and Life Coaching can, in their different ways, help you to get closer to that natural, healthy starting point.
Self-esteem and Self-confidence
Self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same things. You might feel confident in your ability to drive a car, do a particular job of work, take part in a sporting activity or play a musical instrument but still not see yourself in a positive light.
Some of the most successful people believe themselves to be inadequate or unworthy. Behind a seemingly confident and capable front, they might feel guilty or ashamed, fearing that at any moment they could be ‘found out’ and exposed to ridicule, humiliation or rejection.
Why Positive Self-esteem is essential
Self-esteem reflects how you feel about yourself and your worth as a human being. It has a strong influence on your life; from choice of career, relationship or lifestyle, to your overall state of health and wellbeing. When positive, it’s a vital resource that enables you to deal with those difficult, challenging and sometimes unfair things that happen in life.
When negative, it becomes toxic; undermining and distorting your natural ability to deal effectively with things.
The Development of Self-esteem and Self-identity
Each of us carries our own internal self-image, which we progressively build up throughout childhood and adolescence and against which we consciously or unconsciously judge all our actions. The net result determines our degree of self-esteem. Although largely formed before entering adulthood, it does not necessarily remain fixed or unchanging. For example, during any period of uncertainty or change you may suddenly feel insecure and unsure and find your self-esteem diminished.
Whatever the circumstances, low self-esteem rarely comes alone. Anxiety, depression, procrastination and relationship difficulties are just some of the common ‘fellow travellers’.
My Approach to Self-esteem and Self-identity Issues
Self-identity and self-esteem go to the very heart of who you believe yourself to be and is uniquely personal. Therefore I do not have a single approach. However any work on self-esteem will involve some if not all of the following steps:
- facing the fears and doubts that you hold about yourself;
- seeing yourself for who you really are and becoming comfortable with that reality;
- developing better thinking habits to replace old, negative ways;
- building confident behaviour that enhances self-esteem.
If you would like more information then please follow any of the links on this page or contact me directly. I always look forward to talking to new people and I’m very happy to answer any questions you may have about counselling or life coaching.
If I’m not available when you call then please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.