Sexual Abuse in Childhood
Chris Cowen – qualified and experienced Counsellor and Life Coach in Exeter
Sexual abuse is a deeply wounding experience at any age and in all circumstances. But where the victim is a child, the effects are even more damaging and long lasting.
Sexual abuse often exists against a wider background of neglect and other forms of abuse. This can leave the victim almost totally deprived of the everyday signs of recognition, acceptance and human warmth that most people take for granted.
This leaves them open to manipulation and exploitation by the abuser, who can seduce the victim into feeling special or chosen in some way, and therefore welcoming of the attention and recognition that it brings. This can then give rise to feelings in the victim that somehow they themselves are the initiators of the abuse and therefore responsible for it. An absolutely tragic outcome, where the innocent are left feeling guilty. Where these totally unfounded beliefs then become embedded into the victims own belief system they can be very resistant to challenge or change.
It might seem difficult to accept that things could be made worse and yet often it is, in two quite distinct ways.
Firstly, sexual abuse is frequently cloaked by secrecy and denial. If the victim turns to others for help, their cry can be rejected, their claims denied and they find themselves accused of invention and punished further. The injustice of it all is compounded.
Secondly, childhood sexual abuse by adults is a monstrous betrayal of trust, which can destroy the victims own capacity to trust others, making it difficult for them to commit to any form of lasting relationship. This can condemn them to further loneliness and isolation from the fundamental warmth of genuine human relationship.
Counselling rarely offers any quick or easy solutions to the victims of serious sexual abuse. There are some scars that the sun can never reach. But it can provide an opportunity to gently and acceptingly revisit the past. To look afresh at what has happened. To re-examine old distorted views. To open up awareness and recognition of what truly occurred. To begin the process of shifting responsibility from victim to abuser. To allow previously denied compassion towards their own wounded self. To begin the slow process of moving on in life towards a lighter, brighter place.
If you would like more information then please follow any of the links on this page or contact me directly. I always look forward to talking to new people and I’m very happy to answer any questions you may have about counselling.
If I’m not available when you call then please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.